all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
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He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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