I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
