I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
