Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
