At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
