More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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