You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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