Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
