how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
People with herpes should wear stickers.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
