New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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