Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my liver is dry heaving
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
