Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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