What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
