escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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