I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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