what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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