My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
