I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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