OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
