well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
