I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
