Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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