so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
