After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize