Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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