is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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