he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
