Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
