plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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