Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
