I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
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my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
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The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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