My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
