just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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