Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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