Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
