and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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