i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
