I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
