I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
