Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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