I wish I could punch you in the face.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
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THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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