I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
is it fun? or sober?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize