ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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