and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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