so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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