i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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