soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
