Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
