Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
