im drinking this country out of the recession.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize