covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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