i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
