you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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