I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Everything about him screamed your future.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
where are you?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges