what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.