My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep