oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?