Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?