there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
