You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
