Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets

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(706): View more from Georgia

thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.

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(714): View more from California

We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples

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(248): View more from Michigan

No piss test, hell yeah

(248): View more from Michigan

FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom

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