Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
